ME, HER AND THEN HIM. Talking from the heart! ❤

 

ME, HER AND THE HIM. Talking from the heart!

I found this Q&A from a post on the internet and really wanted to share it with you. My writing is in the BLACK, (im just putting in my ten pence piece, don’t mind me 💰) The lady who posted the question is in the BLUE and the man who comments to it, is in RED.

 

The woman who originally posted the question wanted to know!

 Are you a man in love with a fat girl?

If you are, I would really love to hear about what attracts you to her, and what keeps you in love!

I’m a fat woman. I’m about a size 16 American, and I have a boyfriend that physically speaking is well out of my league. He’s younger than me (29, I’m 36), tall, slim, elegant, blond, good looking, easily an 8 out of 10. I find him attractive to the point of distraction.

Emotionally we connect on every level and he swears up and down that I make him happy, that he loves me, and that I meet his needs. I ask him if he loves me and he gathers me up in his arms, laughs, kisses me all over my face and says ‘of course!’ And I do believe him. He treats me like gold.

But, given the disdain and hatred directed at fat woman, I still reel at the thought that I could be loved and found attractive – by anyone really, yet alone a good looking man. Or, actually, that anyone could not just tolerate my body, but actively desire it.

If you love a fat woman – what is it about her that keeps you coming back for more?

(REMEMBER IM BLACK, LOL EXCUSE THE PUN.) 😂😂😂

Ok! About the above, It was nice for her to share her experience, so often women have insecurities, we can sometimes feel that we are unlovable let alone being a plus size person. One of the replies was the man below that stuck to me from all the comments like a saw thumb, but in a good way.

And why are messed up people, always have time to fill pages with hate, I just have enough time to write this blog post, let alone go on a sites, to justify and argue about how much I hate fat women. Like really, what’s your beef?

 Mans reply to comment 🏆

Don’t be fooled by the hate. There are plenty of men that find fat, chubby, curvy, whatever you want to call it, women extremely attractive. I’m one of them.
It’s not that most people support the hatred, it’s just that the ones that do are more vocal about it than the ones that don’t.

 SO TRUE! We seem to think that we are not worthy of the love of a good looking, fine, sexy man. Or that a thin man could possibly find us attractive too.

 So as usual I’m gonna use food to demonstrate. We all have different taste in restaurants, but at the end of the day, if you like it, you like it and that’s it. Why would you force yourself to have food from somewhere that you don’t like or if a resturant gets publicized in the media, we should all automatically love it and go there all the time? You may walk past a resturant you have never been to and see food that looks nice, and possibly think about visiting it one day. You don’t automatically rule it out just because it’s not a franchiese

So many men are finding that they like what they like, and don’t give a shit as to what anyone says. I put the fear of openly loving a type of person down to what society seems to deem acceptable, 9 times out of 10.

Does maturity play a part in openly saying that you find yourself attracted to a plus size woman?

 

Why would you deny yourself of possible happiness, when you can identify that you are attracted to something that isn’t classed as the “NORM” but worried about what others will say about your personal life.

And why to the haters always have to fill pages of hate, I just have enough time to write this blog post let alone go on sites and argue about how much I hate fat women, what’s your beef?

He continues 👍

The fact is though, you don’t need to convince yourself that he loves you and finds you attractive. You need to love yourself and find yourself attractive. Until you can look in the mirror and like what you see, you will continue to find it hard to believe what he says.

If you want to stay the weight you are, that’s great. Own it, flaunt it. Think about what you love most about your body or looks and wear clothes, makeup, etc. that flaunt those features and make you feel most attractive.
When you feel attractive, it will boost your confidence and make you feel better overall.

If, on the other hand, you don’t want to stay the weight you are, that’s great too. Make the changes you need to make to be happy. Whether it’s losing weight, building muscle or just generally toning up.

At the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re happy in your own skin.

This made me so happy, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Many of us plus size ladies (women in general) seem to rely on someone else expressing our worth, our beauty, or essence. If we find it ourselves, we no longer need anyone to validate it for us. It’s so nice to hear this from a man tho, other than mine, lol. So many women help empower each other which is how it should be, but sometimes listen to a guy speak sense seems to resonate a little further at times.

Don’t get me wrong, having a partner that loves you and make you feel good will always contribute to boosting your confidence.

We are all human, we won’t feel confident all day, every day. We will standardly get those days when you feel but ugly and this bitch ass body don’t want to fit in any item from the wardrobe. Your eyebrows have taken on the shape of the zig zag lines in the road, you’re on your period and that high wasted skirt you got looks hideous, cos your belly looks so bloody big. But that’s OK.

What you don’t need is to constantly bash yourself to the ground till there is no way to get back up again.

And a lot of men are not as shallow as we think, he could fall in love with your personality first and not see your weight at all, usually there will be a level of physical attraction, but so many people fall in love with someone that isn’t their “normal type”, that maybe colour or shape, that was not typical to what they are usually attracted to.

 

But the beauty within this, is that you saw the person’s soul first, which is really what love is all about. A person can’t be happy with someone who has good looks and a complete shit of a personality. And if that’s what is important to you, THE LOOKS! We may need to sit down and have a little chat, email me, I’ll make the time, for you especially.✌

To the guy that commented on this post, I just want to say, your partner is lucky to have you, if you have one and you her. I hope men that read this post find support in loving a plus size woman with pride, and ladies who read your comment find strength finding their own beauty.

And lastly the lady who posted the question in the beginning, it seems like you have a great guy there. Let him love you and love yourself too. Those words of disbelief is not good for your soul. I’m sure you are everything that he says you are and you are everything that you will soon discover about your beautiful self.

 All pictures are from pintrest.

Xxx Fran xxX

ADDICTED 2: HOMEMADE CHIPS AND FROZEN GRAPES

 

Yesterday, I peel the potatoes in excitement while having to remind myself that chips take time. I peel more than needed, knowing that they have to be cooked and eaten.

You could ask why I don’t just go to chip shop? Back in the day on a Friday evening and having to wait in line to get your cod and chips, used to be a buzz when the kids were little, that was their highlight of the weekend.

Getting them on the bikes, to take the walk down the road to Michaels on hainault road.

My mum used to make chips and I was only able to have what I was given, chips wasn’t a thing you could ask more of. Once she had peeled those potatoes and we had eaten, then that was it. But as an adult I control those potatoes, I make the decisions as to how many I get, I peel and cut what I want. But being an adult don’t help, at times I wish me mum would do me chips just to make sure I don’t get out of control.

The reason why I know it’s a problem, is because I will make sure everyone gets a nice amount, then we will all eat our chips, but the whole house knows that mum has put on more chips, that will be ready to eat after she has finished. I will sometimes have a plate of chips and nothing else, apart from salt. I don’t want anything to spoil the flavour, unless it compliments them. Maybe a nice slice of wholemeal bread or a bit of French stick. Last night I had the most succulent bit of chicken that was cooked for me and I made sure I only ate one piece, so there was enough to have with my other set of chips.

I know this may sounds so disgustingly greedy but, there are not a lot of things that do this to me.

Grapes, but frozen.

This is a new thing, I was introduced to this frozen grape thing while at my old workplace last year. A colleague/ friend? Asked if I have had grapes frozen before. My face was confused and I didn’t get it. I’m a general red grape kind of girl anyway and will sit and eat a whole bunch happily. Sometimes I like to peel the skin of slowly and take little bites, to then eat the grape and take in every inch of flavour.

We went and put some in the freezer, so I could see what it was all about and then I had the experience.

It tasted really good! but like my music, there are a few things I need to try on my own to really understand how good it is.

So a few months ago I had grapes in the house, (unfortunately when I have fruit at home, which is weekly, my kids just go wild. I made the mistake by telling them, when they were younger, that they don’t need to ask me for fruit, they can just take it.

Well! That was when fruit was cheap but they still remind me of that saying, every time I start to shout, who has eaten all the bloody fruit.)

So I decided to hide the grapes in the freezer because no one would look in there, well oh my god, how good were they. And I mean they were orgasmic, i ate them one by one, rolling them around my mouth, as my teeth can sometimes be sensitive and then finally biting into the textured hard grape that was freezing cold, while you could feel it travelling down your stomach and give you goose bumps. I denied this for so long, but to tell the truth, it takes me a while to process things.

For example I could try someone’s whiskey and tell someone that’s not better than my cider, they may observe me drinking and tell me, Fran you don’t like cider as much as you say you do, because you tend to never finish it, and I would say no I love cider and then later down the line, I would finally realise I don’t really like cider as much as I thought.

And then ponder on whether I should try a bit of whiskey to see if I like that. Yes I am owning my flaws, unlike some people.

Since that day, grapes have been a new regular treat for myself. But unfortunately the kids have now started to take part too. And when I have that first grape from the frozen bunch, I think of my friend who opened my eyes to something new, maybe one day I will tell them how I really feel about frozen grapes but until then, I’m keeping quiet.

 

So my new thing is not to have the seconds on the chips, I need to understand that I don’t need it. Just because you love something so much over indulgence is somewhat of a sin.

And as for the grapes, they have just got to keep on coming. Trust me, rain, sun, sleet or snow, I’m gonna keep them grapes in the freezer and continue to eat as much as I like.

Let me know what your food addiction is.

(PICTURES FROM GOOGLE, WHISPER AND PINTREST)

Xxx Fran xxX

Most viewed post of the week, Zo’s Tees

Most viewed post of the week is a zo’s Tees.

I know right. Its so true!

As I have been ill for the past two weeks, (hence the reason I havent posted any blogs), I have been making up for the days I didnt eat while I was ill. That wasn’t planned but its just happened.

If you are blessed in cooking good food, have a loved one that cooks up a storm or you love going to restaurants, why should you miss out.

Its like this, you know when you have that one person that gives you the best sex ever, but they aint good for you, cos they can’t commit, but you keep on going back. Yes thats it, thats me with food.

On a sunday when your roast was on point and you have finished eating, the dishes are done and your getting ready to watch the sunday night movie. That’s when your back in the kitchen to make a small bowl with the left overs. 😦

I know we have to learn to eat in moderation, but when it taste so good. It can be the hardest thing ever.

Xxx Fran xxX